Hello. My name is Amanda Ritz Olsen. I am 36 and have four children. We are a military family and I have been married for 15 years. I enjoy yoga, reading and writing, the lake/beach and sunshine, alone time, and coffee and sushi. I love wrangling my four children and taking them to their various extracurriculars. They are my life and I am truly blessed. It’s been almost a year and a half since my Open Heart Surgery. I am thankful and indebted to my incredibly knowledgeable and fearless doctors, that have led me on the correct path to healing. I am so grateful at a second chance with my life. I am forever in awe that I get to spend time with those I love and watch my babies grow. I will take it one day at a time and cherish every moment. For those that need a bit of a background on my story, let me take you back almost 8 years ago, when we found out that I was pregnant with my youngest, who is now almost 7. They found out that I had ASD, Atrial Septal Defect, a hole in my heart. These days, they are found easier than when I was young and are fixed rather effortlessly. I had had this defect since birth and I wasn’t diagnosed with it until I was 30. While it was nice to finally know what had caused my breathing issues and various ailments from my childhood, it was devastating and scary to learn what was happening to my body. They wanted me to terminate my pregnancy and have surgery immediately, to repair my ASD. My husband and I decided to wait until after I had my baby boy. We went in to have the surgery when he was 12wks old yet after more testing, they discovered that I now had PH, Pulmonary Hypertension. Basically, it’s high blood pressure in the lungs. There is no cure for this. It will eventually be what takes my life. Over the past 7 years, I have been on various medications and have been closely monitored by my docs at Mayo in Rochester, Mn. I’ve been living day to day with this invisible illness. On the outside, I look normal. On the inside, my heart and lungs are furious. Some days I find it difficult to breathe or get out of bed and do mundane household chores. Other days, I run around a mile a minute and play catch up. I take this journey one day at a time and try my best to live life as normal as I can. Enjoying my four children fiercely and to no end. In 2018, my routine bi-annual visit to Mayo brought me and my family amazing news that terrified, excited, and confused me- all at once. The meds I had been on all these years, had lowered my PH pressures enough to have my ASD repaired! Having this procedure would allow my body to be a tad bit less aggravated by my PH and make me feel so much better on a day-to-day basis. It was tough at first, post-surgery, adjusting to my new normal. But gradually I felt stronger and more capable of anything that I set out to do. I am forever grateful and truly blessed for my second chance. Yoga is a practice I like to incorporate in my life. One day, years ago, my instructor asked us to set up our intentions for the day, to develop a model or self-motto. She comes back to this often in her teachings and I always come back to my original saying. Thinking back to when she first asked us in class, my hands clasped at my heart center- against my fast-beating heart with my heavy breathing, wondering if I could physically and mentally keep up with my practice of yoga- these three words came to my mind; Brave, Blessed, Strong. For I am BRAVE to take these trials and experiences and enjoy them without defeat, throughout my journey and all these years and struggles that I have encountered. For I am BLESSED, every day, to have these moments with my children, my husband, my family, and my friends. For I am STRONG, I will endure and keep on PHighting, mentally and physically, for as long as I have left here on this Earth. Covid has put a damper on all of us. This I know to be true. Our lives have been forever changed, never to go back to our previous 'normal'. But to those in the Pulmonary Hypertension world, it has scarred us deeper than we could ever have thought imaginable. Living life with an incurable disease, is in and of itself terrifying. Throw in a deadly virus, and what are those of us with PH, or any disease, supposed to do? For me and my family, Covid has been a curse and a blessing, so to speak. It has allowed us to slow down a bit, to live life and enjoy one another on a more intimate plane. This is not to say that pre-Corona, that we did not have family game nights and weekend campouts, but it means that we took a step back and truly appreciated what we had in front of us- and valued our time together, in a new way. But what has Covid taken from us? Social Activities and a sense of Community. Extracurriculars such as Scouting, Gymnastics, and Dance classes have been swept out from beneath our children's feet. Hanging with friends in the neighborhood and attending school in person instead of a computer screen. Even adults have felt a stab at the normalcy of every day life- hanging with friends or co-workers, having someone to talk to and confide in. I truly believe our minds and our bodies have been depleted of basic human needs. I feel this deeply. Due to the Pandemic, I have not had my yearly check up yet, as I keep putting it off, scared of traveling during this time. I hope to make a trip to Mayo soon to see how my test results turn out from my last visit post-surgery. Thank you so much Team PHenomenal Hope for this chance to tell my story and the generous gift from Team PH Unmet Needs Patient Impact Fund. I am so fortunate. For anyone wishing to contact me with questions or just needing someone to talk to, you may message me at amandaritzolsen@hotmail.com My scar is amazing. My scar is terrifying. It causes me pain. It causes me joy. I am beyond blessed to feel this way about my scar. It reminds me of where I was before this. It reminds me of where I’m headed. And it reminds me of what I need to do, today, to get there.
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Wash Your Mats, Cleanse Your Soul!It's important to take care of the things that take care of you. Your yoga equipment is no exception! I usually wash my mats about four times a year. It may not look soiled to the naked eye but your mat not only touches the ground, grabbing all the germs from the floor, but you also sweat and shed skin.
It really is simple process. I will take you through it below. Little Bean's How To... Obtain A Kansas Birth CertificateMany Kansas Home Birth families are stuck on how to go about the birth certificate process, as was I, just a few years ago. It is a pretty simple process and while rather lengthy in waiting time for it to be all said and done, the steps you will take to apply and then order your birth certificate are not all that time consuming.
After you have had your baby, it can be a few days to some weeks, and you are settled in and have a name for your little one, your First Step is to call the Vital Statistics Register. They can be reached at 785-296-1424. You will need to tell them that you had a home birth and that you want to register your child. You will have to provide them your name, address, baby's name and their birthdate. They will then send you a packet in the mail that you will need to fill out and send back with other information and documents. It was 5 pages of information and pretty straightforward. You will be mailing it back in the SASE that came with the paper work. The paperwork that you send back is pretty easy to collect. The first record you need is proof of pregnancy- this can be prenatal records, a note from your doctor, testimony from your minister, boss, or a WIC associate, etc. You will also need proof that baby is born alive & well and this can be documented if you choose to go to the hospital for the 48 hour check up, 2 week newborn check up, or a Well Baby visit. It may also be from someone in authority, like with the proof of pregnancy. Last, you will need a bill pay stub or other official proof of address of where the baby was born. Next, they will send you confirmation of receipt and then you can go forward with ordering your birth certificate copies. You can order the certificate here: http://www.kdheks.gov/vital/birth_howto.html or https://www.vitalchek.com/birth-certificates. I recommend getting two copies at the original time of ordering due to the fact that it is a more affordable option. PiP is my fourth child and my last birth experience, extremely bittersweet. Around the time that we found out that I was pregnant with PiP, we also discovered that I had an ASD, Atrial Septal Defect. It essentially is a hole in the heart from when I was born. They told me that if I was to go through with having my baby, that I may die during pregnancy and/or childbirth. They wanted me to abort my child and get open heart surgery as soon as possible. I felt badgered and bullied from all angles, only to be made with the best of intentions of course. The doctors weren’t the only ones advising me against keeping my pregnancy. Family, friends, and Facebook acquaintances were also spouting their opinions on the fact of me staying pregnant and going through with the delivery, how it might not be best for my health, to think about my other children, and to quit being selfish. Back and forth, Matt and I went, on our decision, all while he was away on a deployment. Finally, so distraught with all that was happening, my health, and doctors’ and family’s whispers in my ear- I took a mental day to myself, and locked myself away in my room with my tears and my thoughts, and said to myself- after all that has happened to me, past and present, all of my losses- why would I intentionally rid my body and soul of the very thing I wanted most in this life, my child? Some people still to this day do not understand or agree with my thinking on it, but, when Matt and I look into PiP’s eyes, when his smile lights up a room – I can breathe a sigh of relief and feel warmth in my heart, cause my son is here, with his family, where he belongs. Being my 4th birth, my 3rd intended home birth, and knowing it may be my last, due to health concerns, I knew that I wanted this birth to be documented. My other labors, I have very little photographic evidence of it, albeit from lack of knowledge that a birth photographer exists, so we used our own camera – to no one wanting to attend an unassisted home birth- so I set out to find a photographer to fulfill this need- and found TS. We were already acquaintances since we were both in the birth community, her a photographer and me a doula, so it seemed a good fit. And when I told her of my mission, to photograph the evidence of a true raw birth, no need for medical interventions, no need for tons of PHDs standing around waiting to get their hands in the honey pot. Just me, my husband, and my children, all quietly awaiting the birth of their newest family addition, my son – she was excited to join in such an inspiring innocent experience. And I was excited as well, to show, through pictures, that babies know when they want to come earth side, and that mothers and babies know what to do. Trust in your body, your baby and all will be well. Contractions had been happening off and on from about 37wks, but I wasn’t too worried about them, as I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy for as long as PiP would allow me to, and all of my other term pregnancies went 40+. I would go about my day as normal, taking care of my 3 other chidlren and such, stopping to breathe through them and relax as much as I could, when I could. For about a week, my waters were trickling, but again, I was not worried, as this had happened in my previous birth, with my daughter. I just rested and stayed hydrated and walked allot to see if he would come. On June 15th, I wasn’t leaking anymore, so I felt really good about that, and at that point I was 39wks. Matt was sick and then Sweets got sick. I also had a few placentas that I still needed to encapsulate for my clients, so I really wanted PiP to wait until I mentally gave him the All Clear Sign. Every day I kept thinking, was this it? But I had no way of knowing. At night is when I gave birth every time before, and at night is when I would get tons of contractions, but they would taper off come morning. I didn’t feel like it was time, as he was still really high up in my rib cage- and all of my others, they dropped a week prior to their birth, and I knew it would be soon that they would arrive, after that happened. Every day/night, TS would text, asking me how I was doing, etc. This was nice, since I did not have a doula, as none would attend an unassisted birth, due to ‘liability’. On June 23rd, we watched our nightly show on Netflix, as usual, and TS called. I told her, ‘Same ole stuff. Mild contractions here and there, but nothing I can’t breathe through. I don’t think this is it. I will call you if I think it will happen tonight. We’ll have plenty of time’. She said she could hear it in my voice, that she thought these contractions were the real thing, but I really didn’t believe that to be true. She asked if I wanted her to come over, but I said, ‘No, we’re just going to go to bed- it isn’t going to happen tonight.’ Silly me, I should of known that my denial was my pre-labor! That is so me. She asked if she could come by anyway and I said, “Sure, I have a couch you could sleep on, but nothing will probably happen tonight, maybe tomorrow.” I hung up the phone and about 30min later, I said to Matt to set up the birth pool- and that this was it and I was glad TS was already on her way. I was hot. I was cold. And I was irritated. All I wanted to do was go to sleep, but I just couldn’t get into any comfortable position- between the contractions and my big high belly. I was so mad that PiP thought now was a good time. About an hour after I hung up with TS, she arrived at my house, it was midnight. She started setting up and chatting with me, but I didn’t really want to talk, I wanted in my birth pool! ‘Hurry up Matt!’, I said. |
Amanda Ritz Olsen
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